Emerging Lament – Reflection Script

When the prompt invited dreams, what emerged was lament.  In my learning group on Wednesday, and in a 1-1 conversation with Luke Monday, that lament was held with such respect. I was invited to reflect on how I have moved through grief in the past. I met with my therapist that afternoon, took a long walk that evening, and slept hard and long that night. I woke up Thursday with my soul cooking something within me.  Once I was given blessing to be in a place of grief and lament, I was able to dream (which was the assignment in the first place…isn’t the Spirit like that!). Lament makes way for newness (Brueggemann)

“Sit down and play/ with the holy sand God has given you” (emilie townes) – I have been playing with the sand, playing with “what ifs” and beginning to dream as I look over job postings.   An insight came that it is time to re-vision, re-story, re-view, re-collect the threads of the last six years of my life since I left Virginia to discern Religious life.  What are the graces to collect and build on (recognizing and refusing the temptations to see discerning “no” as failure, or to see the wild leap of faith I took in 2014 as a waste) as I look ahead?

A variety of circumstances (and, let’s call it grace) led me to make retreat starting next Tuesday night (at a place in rural northern Wisconsin with very few COVID cases). Time to walk, sleep, pray, journal, rest, integrate, be “with” this DDS community, let God be God.  Deeply grateful – for the last several years, I have done a week-long silent retreat in June. I realize my soul was hungry for it .

What if there is no happily ever after and there is just the right next step…and then the next one, after that? The next bend in the road, with just enough light to move forward…sure that we will see the goodness of the Lord, in the land of the living.

2 thoughts on “Emerging Lament – Reflection Script

  1. Rhonda, your last two sentences made me think of Mother Teresa who said that we are not called to be successful; we are called to be faithful. What if you are being called at this time to take the steps and in following them, you will be doing what God is asking of you? What if everything you are doing, even if it seems you are going in circles or the wrong way is what you are meant to do as you listen deeply and try to follow the inspirations that you feel God is asking of you? Is that not being faithful to God? And in the end, what more could God ask of us? Blessings.

  2. I am starting to think that the “happily ever after” is not in the future, but in the way we stand in the present and look back on our life story – the narrative we create, the meaning we make. I admire you so much for not seeing your six years of discernment as a failure; instead, you lament the lost dream but give gratitude for what you’ve learned and create a new dream. It seems that this is what we are called to do, again and again.

    The least interesting aspect of my 4-week walk across Spain in 2014 was reaching Santiago. The “happily ever after” was all the beauty I encountered along the way.I hope the same will be true for you as you make this transition.

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