Reflection Script – Week 2

I have been surprised by how I have been affected by this workshop so far. It was really consoling and inspiring to take part in our group meeting on Wednesday. I felt encouraged and supported by the stories others shared and by the feedback I was given. And for the rest of the week, I’ve felt more grounded in who I am and in what I know. I’ve felt clear headed and confident. The panic has subsided.

I’m sticking with the question, “Why am I called?” a helpful and challenging redirect from “Am I called?” I’m also trying to be aware of the narratives at work in me that cause my fear of being inadequate (another helpful challenge). I think I will always be surprised at how powerful those narratives are when they are not exposed and how quickly they lose power when they are.

I think if I were to write my call story again, I would start with the parts of my life that feel unreconciled. (Thank you to those in my group who had the clarity and courage to do that). I think my work now is to recognize how it is those parts that are a core part of the answer of Why I Am Called. I should not be surprised that call would come from a space of great vulnerability, of brokenness, of pain, of disorientation and disillusion – that a call would actually be built on those experiences. And yet, I resist. How much depth and love and beauty have we (I) missed out on when we (I) haven’t acknowledged that truth?!

And I still feel a bit heavy hearted as I reflect on how counter-cultural those sentences are. But that’s a reflection for another time.

I felt held this week by the women in my group, by the leadership of this workshop and by all of the people who are bringing their hearts to this space. I am holding all of you in my heart as well.

2 thoughts on “Reflection Script – Week 2

  1. Katie, I thought this was a particularly insightful sentence: “I think I will always be surprised at how powerful those narratives are when they are not exposed and how quickly they lose power when they are.”
    Our calls often come from that place of great vulnerability and brokenness that cry out to be heard. The inner desire for healing and wholeness is even more powerful than the fear that would have us remain silent.

  2. We missed you this week at our gathering. I find I dream more when I am on vacation. Enjoy this time with your family.

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