Reflection -Lead kindly light Week 2

Reflection for Week 2-

Thank you to my Sycamore group’s wisdom and heartfelt words and questions to sit with.  Thank you to the larger group and all their graces as well.

I am challenged by you all to listen even more deeply to my heart and think again about all the times that God has been faithful to me. 

I feel challenged to think about anointing and being anointed.  When hands were laid on me and I was prayed over and  anointed with chrism,  the Holy Spirit settled into me—my heart. I was a disciple of Jesus.  I now had my helper and guide and I felt held. Like a stole, like a shawl, like a scarf, the Spirit seemed to rest on me.  Maybe that is why the “healer’s hand” and the power of touch is so important to me.  To lay hands and pray is one of the strongest forms of prayer I’ve experienced in doing and receiving.

 I am looking for my words and voice still.  I never thought I could or would preach.  But I have been blessed to share reflections on my faith in a few settings and truly felt that my words were the ones that God gave me.  I do want to be able to share my daily encounters with Christ with others. 

I ask myself how do I meld one vocation with another or do I give up one for another.

But the hard part is that the church says “no” you can’t be a deacon or a priest, so then what am I even “wondering” about.

Hmmm a chaplain in a hospital, a deacon in my church community someday baptizing by grandchildren, a pastoral associate leading the way to embrace social justice, a doctor who prays, preaches, and puts faith into action and just loves. Hmmm.  I look into the sky and say “Oh Great Love…show me the way.”

“Lead kindly light amidst the grief and gloom, the night is long and I am far from home.  Here in the dark I do not ask to see the path ahead; one step enough for me.  Lead on, Lead on kindly light.  And in the night when I was afraid, your feet beside my own on the way.  Each stumbling step where others have trod, shortens the road leading home to my God.  Lead on, lead on, my God, my God; lead on, lead on kindly light.”

And ” Your Spirit O God is upon me. You have anointed me.”

Painting by Henry Ossawa Tanner

One thought on “Reflection -Lead kindly light Week 2

  1. Some days, especially these days of “shelter in place,” there are times when I don’t talk to anybody until the middle of the day. The phone rings, I pick it up, and the first words out of my mouth are more of a croak than anything. Then I find my voice. Singing is like that too. I was a frequent cantor until care giving and grief changed my life and my capacity for public presence. Then I joined the choir, because I was feeling fragile and hesitant and my singing voice needed serious exercise. Alas, then came COVID. All this is to say, finding your voice may be eased by exercising it early and often.

    Perhaps because you used the image, this passage came to me:

    “You Galileans!—why do you just stand here looking up at the sky?
    This very Jesus who was taken up from among you to heaven will come as certainly—and mysteriously—as he left.”
    So they left the mountain called Olives and returned to Jerusalem. It was a little over half a mile.
    They went to the upper room they had been using as a meeting place: (Acts 1:11-13)

    My pastor, as is his wont, might well have concluded this reading with: “For our challenge, the Word of the Lord.”

    In that spirit I ask: “Is there an upper room where you can regularly and safely gather with (women) disciples like yourself to explore the meaning of your life and call, to exercise your voice, and to play with possibilities for your future? Do you have a trusted spiritual guide in whose company you can voice your questions, name your struggle, and more easily sense the workings of grace? Beyond this discernment, can you identify what you need to support you on the way?

    I hear your longing for rest, dear Lydia. May that and all else you desire be yours.

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