Week II Reflection Script

As I have mulled over my week two writing, the conversations from the Zoom calls on Monday and Wednesday, the comments I received and my peers’ posts, I have felt a fresh and steady energy growing within me. A sense of sinking my roots deeper into the source and reaching up and out and open to let life force flow in and through me. 

I have been stunned by what a precious gift it is to read what the others in this workshop are writing, to bear witness to the divine revelation and incarnation in their unique stories. The process of reading and praying with these holy texts has affirmed the part of myself that longs to connect on the soul level with other seekers. 

Rhonda’s comment on my piece landed in a profound way. In response to my frustration that I’m not yet fully living into my priestly call, she reminded me of “the reality that there is never a “there” to get to, and there will always be new horizons opening before you/us.” This is one of the perennial truths that my heart seems to always need to learn again and again, on some deeper level.

I have struggled for as long as I can remember with the sense that the life I should be living is somehow always just out of reach, like a mirage on the horizon. I have wondered for years when I would arrive. Part of this is perfectionism, part of this is Enneagram Type Four baggage, and maybe part of this is the deceit of the contrary spirit. 

It makes sense that this old familiar trap of the mirage would be popping up in the way I think about my call to priesthood. And maybe I’ve been so focused on the external factors that prevent me from just going ahead and being a priest already that I haven’t attended to this inner blockage. 

So here is a new intention for this workshop: I will bring awareness to my tendency to put off my life until some indeterminate future, and I will practice welcoming myself home to my life as it is now, incomplete and imperfect as it is and as I am. I will choose to believe that God is here in me and in my life in the  “ongoing becoming, ongoing living into, ongoing emergence, ongoing horizons opening unto new horizons.” (Rhonda’s words <3 )

4 thoughts on “Week II Reflection Script

  1. “I have been stunned by what a precious gift it is to read what the others in this workshop are writing, to bear witness to the divine revelation and incarnation in their unique stories.”

    Claire, you actually describe a kind of “lectio divina” happening here. Your naming our stories “holy texts” reminds me that because we ourselves are enlivened by the Spirit of Christ, revelation doesn’t end with the first century texts (more nuance required, of course). What keeps the church so stuck seems to be its failure to take that seriously. As I explore how I might begin to create a safe and sacred space, an “upper room” for searching women, you prompt me to dig deeper and play with lectio divina as a process. Imagine what our church and our world might look like if every one of us were taught to read life text, our own and others’, with the eyes of faith and honor it as revelation and incarnation?

  2. Claire, this is a simple, powerful and profound intention you wrote for yourself: “I will practice welcoming myself home to my life as it is now..”

  3. Amen, Sister! You have preached without it being officially termed preaching. As Suzanne said on her comments, I do believe the Spirit of God becomes allowed to be known more easily whenever we share soul to soul. It’s so authentic that it speaks in a tone that causes the Spirit of God in the other to vibrate/resonate/cause a stir. Truth speaking to truth. I find that courageous, authentic honesty is a gift. Thank you for sharing.

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